i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
