i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
