I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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