i think my tv is drunk
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
