I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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