She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
