So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
