I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
