even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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