God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
