She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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