Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
its not stalking. its research.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
