first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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