you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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