so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
