we have officially lost it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
