there's paper in my vomit.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
