As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Sponge bath it is.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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