i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
