Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
