i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
