I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
