next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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