I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
