So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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