You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
