Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
This toilet bowl is my home.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
