____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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