yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
