I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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