im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
