I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
