Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize