Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
