If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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