K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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