we have officially lost it.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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