they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
