24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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