dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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