mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
