I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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