New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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