moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
NoShamevember. You game?
Still dying that you shit outside
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
