we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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