His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
