That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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