apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
