I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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