How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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