Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize