who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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