She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
