Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
