Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
