i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
