she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
