im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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