ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
