As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Two words: nipple clamps
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