yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize