your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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