no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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