I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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