they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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