Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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