i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
