There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
