What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ugly people sure do ruin things
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
