Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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