dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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