I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
