Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
