I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
